Internet dating is an amazing way to connect with other people. It has taught me how to better relate to them, and a lot about myself. Looking for romance has been fun and I think dating on the net works on a lot of levels. I want you to know how. Lets start with a success story.

My beautiful young friend Mira, a yoga teacher (age 34) found her true love on Yahoo personals. They have been seriously together for nearly two years headed toward matrimony. It wasnt magic; she worked at it.

Mira approached net dating like looking for a job. Later on, when I would get discouraged about meeting the right man, she would remind me how many meet and greet coffees she went to at least one a week. She also had a painful experience of being stood-up. Returning home she found a crude email telling her: what else could she expect, being grossly fat, and not bathing, never combed her hair and being one step short of a bag lady and when she had the nerve to advertised herself as attractive! His nervous misidentification is a good example about not jumping to conclusions.

I learned a lot from Mira. She used to say, I guess I am mature enough to sit through a dinner pleasantly with just about anyone. Her positive attitude carried her a long way. She paid her dues,did her homework and finally it paid off. I found she was right, it really is enjoyable, even useful meeting new people. When I find I have nothing in common with my companion of the moment, I look to learn more about his approach to using the internet. In the process, I have discovered that men are just as unsure how to find that lasting and compatible relationship. Just knowing you are not alone is a great help in the dating process. Getting mentally ready to meet the right person was a big part of Miras strategy. She made a list of traits she wanted, and ones she couldnt compromise on. She studied Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray assiduously. Written in an evenhanded compassionate way, the book explains dating behavior of men and women while setting up ground rules which lead to finding a successful match. Its an excellent dating protocol manual. Dale Carnegies How to Win Friends and Influence People is my addition to the basic study texts.

After self-searching about the qualities of your soul mate, it is a good time to write your personals ad. Everyone likes candlelight and walks on the beach so be specific when describing yourself. I enjoyed writing my ad and showed it to an old boyfriend to see if it fit his image of me. He suggested the bit about being shy but well worth getting to know then with a chuckle added references available, as a humorous note. I put no guns which Ive never seen in an ad. Expect to rewrite your ad after awhile because words are easily misinterpreted. I included in my description that I looked like Patti Smith in my younger years and met a few disappointed guys who had been dreaming they were actually going to meet Patti Smith!

Many of the services charge a fee but offer a week or two free up front and help you match yourself to others with a compatibility questionnaire. So in that way it resembles a regular dating service.A good photo increases your chances in getting responses. I liked Matchmaker.com.You can preview lots of men in your area via their photos. Ive been dating a fellow who claims that the ratio of men to women is much higher on that site. So you know where the men are!

After all, even the wrong match, increases your social life. If you are single and tired of being alone, the internet is a wonderful gift. Its first surprise is how many nice looking and interesting single people are out there, even in my age group (52 years).

The fact is that if you keep updating your ad (every three days) to keep on the front page of other peoples search, you have a pretty steady stream of responses and people to call and email. The odds of meeting the special one increase when you try. I have met over a dozen people who like art, music, and poetry, are intellectual, and are worthwhile friends.

Yahoo personals is free. It doesnt require a photo and has a good interface that helps search people by geographic area. Thats an important detail I like. I have had responses from as far away as Argentina.Yahoos where Mira met her man.

I have had ads on several different personals systems concurrently but I have never paid to be on a service. My ad attracts a lot of men, even those in their twenties and thirties! Which tells me there are a lot of single people of that age out there. My internet dating experience began by answering an ad, which led me to meet a poet/librarian for the San Mateo Library. He was an educated well-mannered man whom I would never have run across in my normal course of travels. I wasnt really ready at that point, but it was a positive first experience. One big advantage to the net is its armchair friendly accessibility. As an online shy guy once told me his chances of meeting someone increase even when he doesn't leave the house! Does it work? Yes. Being in the comfort of your own home allows people to relax and speak more openly. One man I met joined a group of single parents who share their divorce stories in a chat room. They developed into a support group that went out socially together and many of them married others in the group. Women, a word of caution: The standard is to meet for coffee in a public place and not to go off without letting someone know where you are going. Dont tell him where you live right away. I have a call block so someone cant get my address from the phone. I get the persons number and call them at home to know that they are truly single. I send a couple of e-mails, and try to meet the person right away. There is no need to tell all of your personal life. The myth and magic of love is one of lifes great mysteries. You never know where your true love may be. Its amazing how it transcends time. Its also interesting how technology can tip the scale in your favor and even help things pay off. It takes time and yes, dating is an art. As in business, a successful result comes from a positive attitude, effort, patience and willingness to go the extra mile. The reward is worth it."